The Kat King: On Losing Friendships

Losing friendships when you are depressed is incredibly easy. Either you’re no longer fun to be around or, like me, you become so toxic that some friends cut you out of their life. My anger and resentment at having depression pushed away most of my high school friends (you can read about it here), and for years I would miss them, mourn them. In recovery some people succeed at rebuilding the relationships they lost, but it doesn’t always work out that way. People move on, and although you might miss them terribly the feeling is not always reciprocated. I’ve succeeded at rebuilding bridges with several people that I lost, but other times my efforts failed. This is the story of one such failure.

My most vivid childhood memory of Jakob is from the fourth grade. It was after school, and we were running around the playground while he and his best friend Emmett waited for their parents to pick them up. Since we had no other way to understand our budding sexuality at the time, it was common knowledge that the way to show your interest in someone was to chase them around the playground. However, Jakob had taken this directive a step further. He would chase girls, yes, but for added fun he would make a big show of spitting at them. I don’t imagine that he thought he would actually hit anyone, but on that day I was prey to my genetic lack of dexterity, and when he spat at me he hit me square…